Tuesday 12-1-09 / 6:15AM @ CC’s Coffee on Johnston St.
Yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life. Yeah yeah yeah, I know, we can say that about EVERY day but do we really mean it? Do we REALLY feel that way? I know I do. It was a bit difficult for me going back to work yesterday. What I realize is that I’m blessed to have a job and it’s where God has me right now. It’s the environment where I need to work on becoming a holier person. However it’s not where I feel called, so it’s hard to sit still and be patient (literally and figuratively). Seems like God is saying to me “THIS is where you begin to develop your missionary spirit and zeal. Until you enter foreign missions, THIS is your mission territory.” In reflecting back on this mission trip, I truly feel like I am changed and different. I feel a bit like Saul in the book of Acts, living my life more or less on my own terms. Then this mission trip comes along and knocks me to the ground.
This trip really opened my eyes to how dear the poor are to God, and how much God wants us to bring his Word to everyone. This mission trip was also my Ananias, because I was blind and I now feel like the scales have fallen from my eyes. I hope that people can see a difference in me like they saw with Saul….. The other thing to mention is my prayer. I still pray for specific people and situations, but I feel less of a need to have a rapid-fire list that I mentally go through everytime I pray. This trip has helped me to realize that I need to pray to be able to trust God, to really trust him. I also feel led to make the other part of my daily prayer that I could just let go and fall in love with the Lord. Cuz if I truly feel called to missions, and if I truly feel like God is calling me to marriage, then the only way to be true to those callings is to have a heart after God’s heart, and for people to be able to see by the way I live my life, that I am truly, fully, and joyfully in love with the Lord. God Bless!