MISSIONARY JOURNAL- CAN’T GIVE WHAT I DON’T HAVE

12-2-09 (continued)

As the saying goes, “I can’t give what I don’t have”. The same goes for spreading the gospel. How can I do something that I don’t know how to really do? I’ve got to allow myself to be formed by God in the environment that he chooses. I think for both marriage and being a Catholic “evangelist”, foreign missions is where I can learn what I need to. Call it a coincidence, call it random-ness, call it whatever you want, but it was on the Mexico mission that a passion for missions was reawakened. I also realized a couple things. First thing is (as already stated), that I need to be in love with the Lord. Head-knowledge and going through the motions don’t mean much at all, especially if I don’t have an intimate, loving relationship with my Lord and Savior. Second thing is that I think foreign missions is where I’ll learn how to evangelize and be a missionary.

Whether it’s developing missionary zeal, learning how to speak with people about Jesus, or learning what the Catholic Church teaches about missions, I think the foreign mission field is where God wants me to learn all of this. Will God ever call me out of foreign missions? I don’t know. Why did he even call me into foreign missions in the first place? I don’t know that either. All I know is that following God’s call, even if I don’t know the “why”, is the only thing that will bring me true happiness. Another thing God has been showing me is that I need to work on my patience. During our voyage to and from Mexico as well as while we were there, I encountered situations that tested my patience, and by the grace of God, I fared quite well.

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