MISSIONARY JOURNAL – REVEAL THE UGLY

12-2-09 (final installment)

The fact that I found the grace, in the midst of foreign missions, to be carefree, patient, and trust in God, was a sign to me that “Hey, maybe this is where God wants me so my faith can flourish”. I left the trip with a firm desire to continue to develop patience along with my missionary zeal. As far as zeal goes, I think we’re good to go. Patience, on the other hand, is another story. I realize that lasting growth is slow and steady, but it just plain sucks that I failed so miserably today. In one discussion at work today with a coworker that started to get heated, not only was I wrong, but to add the proverbial salt to my wound, he acted how I should have, keeping his cool and patience.

In another heated discussion with another co-worker, I was correct in what I was saying, but the way in which I said it negated any good that could have come from the point I was trying to make. And in retrospect, I wasn’t even completely correct, cuz in making my point, I realized I had adopted the very selfish and self-righteous attitude I was railing against. The good thing about all of this is that I knowit’s God’s grace that is allowing me to see these “ugly” areas that I need to work on. If I couldn’t see them and be exposed to the unpleasant truth of how far I have to go, then my bliss would be the absolute epitome of ignorance. At least I’ve got Mission Formation to look forward to tonight! 🙂 It’s the commissioning Mass for this year’s Intake, and will probably be one of the last few times I see any of them for quite awhile. Till next time……..God Bless!

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