The blessings of friendship (with the opposite sex)……

Tuesday 7/6/10 – 3:30pm @ Awardmaster (my place of employment in Lafayette, LA)

I find myself reflecting today on the blessings of friendship. Recently, I met up with a friend of mine (who happens to be a female) to go jogging at a local park.  I needed to exercise (hadn’t in over a week) and also wanted to spend some time with her. Now, typically, it has been very hard for me to visit with a female friend and not think ahead of myself (if you get the hint). My tendency is to think light years ahead at the possibilities instead of immersing myself in the blessings God has for me at the present moment.

In this case, the blessing of the present moment was enjoying the company of a friend, with no strings attached. It was AMAZING how much I enjoyed myself. Society, as a whole (myself included), has largely forgotten the value of friendship. Even within the youth and young adults of the Catholic Church, I think we tend to skip the friendship phase because we are so in love with “being in love”. I’ve heard from many solid married couples that say “I married my best friend.” Ergo, I draw the conclusion that friendship is a wonderful foundation for a possible future relationship. Even better is the fact that if a relationship/marriage does not happen, you still gain a friend. And frankly, who couldn’t use more of those? Someone whose company you could enjoy, whom you can confide in, someone to socialize with, the list goes on and on.

Anyhoo, I hope that my reflections have maybe reawakened the grace of friendship in your life, or that maybe I planted a seed of friendship and an appreciation of it. Another reason (as alluded to earlier) that friendship is on my mind is because of the struggle of a close friend of mine. To be fair, I also used to struggle with the same thing quite a bit, and though I’ve come far, I still have a ways to go. Plain and simple, he is just trying too hard to be in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy, my best friend actually. But he just keeps desperately grasping for this miracle, wonderful, “OMG it’s so great” relationship that will just make him forever content.

I’ve learned that relationships/marriage, if we’re called by God to that vocation, are like sand or putty in our hands. First of all, it has to be placed there by God. Second of all, if we don’t wait for God’s timing and try to grasp at it ourselves, it will always elude, only serving to further the frustration and desperation we feel. If in our attempt to grasp at a relationship we somehow succeed, then our tight grip will only cause it to slip between our fingers and cause us to lose it. It’s so hard to watch my friend go through this because everytime some sort of date or meeting is setup and doesn’t work out, he get’s so aggravated and depressed.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about this, it’s that God alone is our source of happiness. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we will be happy, no matter what our relationship status is. It also means that we can truly let go, let God take control, and trust that he will bless us with the desires of our heart on his timeframe, not ours. My hunch is that when we let go, and when God finally fulfills the holy desires of our hearts, we will know a joy that can’t even compare to a thousand forced & failed relationships.

It seems to me also that women/relationships are like feral cats.  You cannot force things or just lunge at what you want, or else they will just scatter. They (both feral cats & women) can usually sense someone who’s desperate for attention and will steer way clear of them (I speak from experience). However, if you are patient, and take your time to gain their trust and treat them right, you’ll eventually have a friend for life and possible more. Let me leave you with a random missionary-themed bible verse, that coincidentally is one of my top choices for my next tatoo on my left foot: “How beautiful on the mountains, are the feet of the messenger announcing peace, of the messenger of good news…..” Isaiah 52:7

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