Posts Tagged With: conversation

How do you really know the Holy Spirit talked to you?

Saturday, May 14, 2011 – 9pm – Marian Home Mission House – Castries, St. Lucia

So, earlier today, we had our annual vocations rally for the diocese and I was on the discussion panel. At the very end, someone asked me the question “How do you really know the Holy Spirit talked to you?”, in regards to the call of missionary life. So I made a few notes and figured I’d expand a little on them and turn it into a blog entry.

#1 – I know the Holy Spirit spoke to me because my decision to become a lay foreign missionary was something I arrived at through prayer, ALOT of prayer. My simple definition of prayer is that it’s conversation with God. So, because I had been talking with God this whole time, that’s how I knew it was him that was talking back to me.

#2 – I know the Holy Spirit spoke to me because the call to lay foreign missions was a deep desire of my heart that never left me. God kept putting it on my heart and kept pursuing me.

#3 – I know the Holy Spirit spoke to me because people in my life confirmed my decision.

#4 – I know the Holy Spirit spoke to me because I am willing to accept the sacrifices and hardships of this calling in order to receive it’s blessings.

#5 – I know the Holy Spirit spoke to me because when I looked back on all the experiences I’ve had, and the pattern my life up to that point, it directed me towards life as a lay foreign missionary.

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This first part of my 12/14 entry is 1 of 2 pages. Some of it may not seem like it has anything to do with my missionary journal, but i can assure you, anything that has anything to do with my personal growth (or lack thereof) is relevant to my missionary journey. Also, NAMES have been omitted to protect the privacy of others.

12-14-09 Monday / 6:15am @ CC’s Coffee on Johnston St

News to report! For the first time since we broke up back in the end of July, me and (name omitted) actually talked on the phone for at least 15 minutes and had a real conversation. It was a really huge blessing for me. Just knowing that we could talk as friends and knowing that life was treating her good was a good thing for me. The low points of the conversation were A) if felt at times a bit awkward and forced b/c it had been so long since we had talk and b/c the last time we talked for more than 30 seconds on the phone was when we had the “break-up” phone call, & B) I realized I’m still getting over her. It’s not like I WANT to not get over her, it’s not like i WANT to wallow in self-pity and regret. I truly don’t.

I want to recognize the blessing that it was and be able to move on. Sometimes I even feel like I idolize this problem (as I’ve done with other problems) by focusing so much on this “being unhealed” and struggling with it, that instead of receiving healing and moving on I end up using it (the struggle) as a way to hold on.

Back to positives, she asked again about my discernment of joining FMC for Intake 2010. It felt good to have a friend ask about me going into missions. Not to sound egocentric, but I love the opportunity to talk about it and share with others. It helps me to get excited and also by talking about it, it helps me to further discern and evaluate. The main points I touched upon were that A) I didn’t want to work at the shop and take it over, and B) going away on missions would help me to let go in faith and trust that God, on his time, will bless me with the desires of my heart. Last night we didn’t have a lifeteen meeting, and since I had seen my fellow coreteam members Friday and Saturday night for the Christmas parties, I decided to go to 6pm Mass at Wisdom.

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12-5-09 continued

After Mass was supper and visiting. After a delicious meal and lots of good conversation time, I headed back home. Thursday night I got to attend the Matthew Kelly advent mission at Fatima. He is a nationally/internationally

acclaimed motivational speaker who is also Catholic. Introduced to him by way of Ms. Laura, I had already bought his books and read most of them, so I knew I’d enjoy his talk (which I did). Afterwards, I went to a meet and greet w/Matthew Kelly in the parish hall. Got a chance to meet him and talk with him and get his autograph and take a picture with him. He’s a really nice and laid back, down to earth guy.

Today was a good day too, mainly b/c of stuff that happened after work. The best part was getting to go to Mass after work and receive Jesus in the Eucharist. Needed that grace and blessing for sure… Afterwards I picked up Joe Lyons and Chris Diesi. We met up at Hub City Diner with Paul Lejeune and Cody Bertrand and enjoyed hangin with the guys. We were all in a goofy mood, or we must have been feeding off each other’s energy, because it was the most fun and laughing I’ve had at a meal in quite some time. I was a little disappointed though that Dottie didn’t get to come. I wanted to hang out with her and spend some time together b/c we don’t do enough of that. I called her and texted her today, and even stopped by her house and couldn’t get in touch with her… 😦 I pray Lord that you help me continue to love her and that my missionary zeal would help me to try to visit with her and minister to her. So after the meal, we moseyed on over to Wisdom because some of the FMC missionaries were there playing music and promoting the Ananias CD they had just finished.

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