Posts Tagged With: hungry

Sid’s 40 Day Fast – Day 35

Day 35 – Sunday – 10/28/12

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that a good journal entry is like a good dream. If you want to remember it, you are more likely to do so if you write it down earlier in the day. That’s probably why most of my journaling is done, or at least starts in the morning. Got some really good sleep last night. Let my body wake me up, since we didn’t have communion services today thus no early Mass. Looks like I’ll be going to Noon Mass! 😉 The sun is out, the skies are blue, the air is nice and cold and crisp and refreshing. When I was heating up my morning coffee, I was thinking about how it would be black with some sugar in it. That is, until I remembered that I had bought some creamer yesterday, at which point I was super happy. You see, that’s an instance where it’s good to forget something because then you get a pleasant surprise because of it. Fired up my computer, in case any family or friends would try to call me or send me a message. Went on up to our chapel here at the mission house and had me some good morning prayer time, along with my hot cup of coffee for sure.

So another thing I’ve discovered is that my fast seems to be the source of much reflection and therefore much material for my journal. I think I’m rediscovering too that typing a journal entry instead of writing it really helps me to get my thoughts out faster. No, I don’t type at the speed of talk. That would be a superhuman strength reserved only for Super Man. I’m Sidney Man, not Super Man. But it does help. The only downside is that when compared to writing down a journal entry, I tend to not be as thoughtful or selective in what I write because I can write it much faster. Maybe typing a journal entry more accurately reflects the influence of my stream of consciousness, and writing a journal entry is more reflective of the general idea influenced by more time for reflection and composition.

Last night was an exercise in irony for me. If you recall in yesterday’s entry, I was waiting until the baby shower to eat since there would be food. Thought that it would be a late lunch, when in reality they ate around supper time. So what ended up happening is that I got tired of waiting (impatient much?) and ate my own supper, which was a decent amount of food. Then, not long after that I was informed that there was some food waiting for me. A big piece of cake, a cup of coke, tostadas (with beans, lettuce, and tomato) and a few marshmallows thrown in for good measure. I was FULL. And one of the things I’ve discovered as a hungry person is that you think that when you do get a chance to eat that if you eat alot of food, you won’t be hungry for a much longer time. After supper I discovered that was not necessarily true. By the time I went to bed, I was probably having as intense of a hunger pang that I’ve had all during the fast. Maybe my body, because of my hunger, digested the food super quick so that I could get nutrients. Anyhoo, the hunger was not a bad thing. It’s the whole point of a fast, and it’s the fuel, the raw material, the offering that you can offer up to the Lord.

Also last night I reinforced the notion that time flies when you’re having fun. Had another great conversation with a female friend last night. Talked about alot of different things. I mean, we did kinda sorta have a direction in the conversation, but it still had very much of a random feel to it. Like I said, I really enjoyed it, especially since we got to talk for a long time. God-willing, if things continue to go well, I might reveal her identity. But for now it’ll have to wait. Don’t wanna count the chickens before the eggs hatch. BUT, if I had to give you a percentage of likelihood that it will progress to that point, I’d say it’s at least 90%. 😉 We shall see what we shall see.

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Sid’s 40 Day Fast – Day 22

Day 22 – Monday – 10/15/12

Today marks the beginning of the fourth week. Yahoo! I’m over halfway there! As much as I’ve already learned in the first half of my 40 day fast, I know there’s much more for God to teach me the rest of the way. Speaking of, there’s one thing I realized earlier today. Once the fast is over, if there was a way I could go back  and measure how much food I’d eat in an average meal before the fast, and then compare that to how much I ate for my one daily meal during the fast, I suspect that during the fast I’d be averaging more like 1.5 meals a day. Or maybe it just feels like that much since my stomach is probably shrinking. It just means that as blessed as this fast is, the next one will be even better! 🙂

Yet again, I got proof this afternoon that Mexico is the worst place to fast. I had already eaten my daily meal at lunchtime and we were waiting for Raul, one of our Mexican missionaries, to come pick us up so we could accompany him to one of his weekly prayer meetings. As always, at the end, there was a snack. (Which was good, cuz in spite of my decent sized lunch, i was feeling a bit hungry). Avena (an oatmeal-ish type of snack) as well as some cookies. Got back to the house, did a little bit of yardwork before dark, since the weather outside was nice and cool. All in all, a very good day……

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Sid’s 40 Day Fast – Day 20

Day 20 – Saturday – 10/13/12

Just a little tidbit from morning prayer I’d like to share. The second psalm had an introductory verse, Luke 21:15, which says “I will inspire you with wisdom which your adversaries will be unable to resist.” When I read it, it really hit me. So I started to think more about why that verse struck me as much as it did, and this is what I came up with. When we talk to others about our faith there are 3 factors that we rely upon. First is the personal, or subjective aspect of our experience. This includes stuff like our individual journey with the Lord and our conversion experience. It could also include specific ministry we support or are involved in, the church parish we attend, or our favorite Christian authors. Also, how we use all of this to talk about God, based on our own personal experience is part of it.

The second factor is the objective. This would include sources/influences such as The Magisterium, The Bible, Sacred Tradition, Church Documents, etc… Basically things that come from outside of ourselves, that will exist after we’re gone, which act as a constant and objective source of God’s truth. The third factor is the Luke 21:15 factor. In my experience the subjective aspect is helpful in some instances when trying to bring others into closer relationship with God, But it is not fail-safe. Inevitably you will run into someone who will not be able to connect with your subjective experience. This highlights the importance of factor two, the objective factor. But even though it’s a more reliable and steady source, neither is it fail-safe. The reason I say that is because also in my personal experience, I’ve seen that you can share all the teachings of the Faith as illustrated in the Bible, Church Documents, classes, books, etc… But if that person is closed-off mentally, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, or some other way, all the teachings in the world will not matter.

But, if your relationship with God is a Luke 21:15 type of relationship, where you have wisdom that noone can resist, then you truly have the most important piece. Because even if someone can initially discard your experience & the Church’s wisdom, someone who is truly in love with the Lord and full of God’s wisdom is irresistible.

Thinking back to last night’s missionary community dinner, it was another learning moment. I exhibited great control and restraint not to eat all day in order to observe my fast. But behind all that piousness was a not so pious motivation: I wanted to be REALLY hungry when we had all of that good food so I could eat alot. And eat alot I did. I was partially innocent, because when you’re that hungry it’s hard to pace yourself. For the most part though, mea culpa for sure! I wasn’t painfully full but I definitely felt very full. And because of the amount I ate (which included some sweets) coupled with the soft drinks I consumed then and for a snack later at night, I didn’t get tired until really late. Like 3am late. My sleep was a little restless as well, and I only ended up being able to sleep till about 8:15.

On the flipside, by staying up late I go to enjoy hanging out and chatting with Albert. My saving grace is that today is our weekly free day. So I will be able to take naps if needed. 🙂 Overall though the experience was good, because it gave me a deeper, more personal understanding of hunger, sharing, and self-control. One of the blessings yesterday was that my fast directly impacted my decision to help share food with a lady. I was tempted to say no because I didn’t have alot and was saving what I was preparing for supper. Yet, when she asked me, I could tell that she really wanted it and needed it. My next immediate thoughts were of my own hunger and how unpleasant it was, followed by the thought that there was no way in good conscience that I can send her away empty-handed. So not only did I manage to give her a small amount of my own food but one of my mission partners was able to give quite a bit to her.

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Sid’s 40 Day Fast – Day 14

Day 14 – Sunday – 10/7/12

So the dumbest thing to ever do in Mexico is to go on a 40-day fast. Too much good food here. I discovered earlier this morning the 2nd dumbest thing to do in Mexico. Help prepare bunuelos while on said 40-day fast. For those of you who don’t know, bunuelos are a type of thin flour tortilla that is fried till golden brown and then coated with a sugar/cinnamon mix. The light at the end of the tunnel is that I get to eat my share of the batch that was made when we go to Gallo & Rita’s tonight! 🙂

When we got back from communion services, I got a little flustered after repeated attempts to unlock my combination lock on my bedroom door. Part of the frustration was the repeated failures, and part of it was the “stress” of being hungry. You know, moodiness, a little bit of the shakes, the hunger feeling, etc… After a bazillion tries, and one combination lock slammed to the ground in disgust, I paused for a moment. I said to myself “Wait a minute! I’ve got a fast and some hunger pangs I can offer up for this!” And I did just that. My anger dissipated and I just kinda thought it was pretty cool to have that in my spiritual arsenal to offer up in a time of need.

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Sid’s 40 Day Fast – Day 7

Day 7 – Sunday – 9/30/12

Last night even after I ate supper and wasn’t hungry anymore, I didn’t have that full feeling. And because I was so accustomed to it before the fast, I was thinking of ways to eat more food. Ultimately I decided against it, feeling like it would defeat one of the purposes of the fast, which is to grow in discipline and self-control.

In regards to my mission post discernment, the only places I can see right now are Spain and The Phillipines. But discernment means being open to other possibilities too. What if there’s another location I haven’t thought of? What if I’m called to return to Big Woods? What if God calls me out of missions? It’s hard to imagine those possibilities but I feel like I have to be open to them too. I also wonder if I should be discerning mission partners or not. Of course I have some ideas, but I guess I’ll focus on the “where” and the “who” will make itself clear.

Another thing I noticed this morning opened my eyes. One of my mission partners, Albert, likes to drink alot of coffee. I noticed this not only because I see him drink gargantuan amounts of the stuff at all times of the day, but also because the bag of Community Coffee that we had been sharing is disappearing quickly. (keyword: HAD) No way it goes that quickly if it’s only me drinking it. So, I brewed another pot this morning and poured myself a cup and Albert one last cup. Once the rest of the coffee cools, I’m gonna pour it into a container labeled “Sid’s Coffee! Do Not Drink!”. That way the coffee will last me as long as possible in October before the group arrives on November 6th-ish.

I’m doing this because my Community Coffee is a piece of home (it’s made in South Louisiana) & I LOVE it! (emphasis on the word LOVE) While I LIKE other types of coffee, I LOVE Community Coffee. When I agreed to share my coffee with Albert, I didn’t realize how much of it he drinks throughout the day. Ergo, no more sharing this precious gift from my mom. I feel like I’m justified in doing this small thing, because we share in other ways. But part of me feels like it might be a tiny bit selfish. That’s the good thing about this fast. It’ll give me a chance to think and pray more about it than I normally would, so that I can learn from it (update: I ended up gifting Albert with a bag of Mexican coffee to get him started. Felt like that kinda helped to balance things out)

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